Daily Primer — July 24 - Gulf of St. Lawrence

The worst thing that can happen to  [people who are] already divided up into a dozen different compartments is to seal off yet another compartment and tell [them] that this one is more important than all the others, and that [they] must henceforth exercise a special care in keeping it separate from them.  That is what tends to happen when contemplation is unwisely thrust without warning upon the bewilderment and distraction of Western [people].  The Eastern traditions have the advantage of disposing [people] more naturally for contemplation.
The first thing that you have to do, before  you even start thinking about such a thing as contemplation, is to try to recover your basic natural unity to reintegrate your compartmentalized being into a coordinated and simple whole and learn to live as a unified human person.  This means that when you have to say ‘I’, there is really someone present to support the pronoun you have uttered.
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“This above all: to thine own self be true.”  When Polonius speaks this advice in Hamlet he, perhaps unwittingly, describes one of the goals of contemplation.  That goal is to discover our true self in the pursuit of God.  But we are hindered from this good and godly pursuit by our many distractions and the bewilderment which comes from trying to meet everyone else’s expectations of who we are and what we should do.
There is a vast web of “shoulds,” “oughts” and “musts” which surrounds every culture. There are those which are essential to any just and loving community — (no stealing, no killing, no lying, no exploitation ... the commandments). But there is also an endless sea of expectation which has nothing whatsoever to do with the Gospel but which nevertheless can dominate one’s life if allowed to do so. For example: you must marry within your class; you must dress a certain way to win approval; you must be polite with everyone; you must hide your personal and/or family troubles from not only your neighbors but (sometimes especially) your church; your children must reflect well on you; your neighbors must find you likable; your colleagues should respect you. This could go on endlessly — and does.  The tyranny of these expectations is manifest in the way they lead us to segregate the portions of our life into boxes.  We begin “playing the part” assigned to us because this is how we at least appear to meet the expectations of others.
We are in danger of forgetting what makes us valuable and what gives our life meaning. We have exchanged grace for works righteousness, and it’s no wonder that we are so often feeling weary, fragmented, and defeated.  When Merton speaks of our bewilderment and distraction he is speaking of this tendency to exchange an integration of our whole life into one singular identity — “I am a child of God, loved deeply by God,” — for the endless array of identities the world would like to hand us.
If, on this journey, we set as our task the cultivation of some contemplative habits, Merton is urging us to avoid thinking of this new commitment as yet another way to divide up our time or our sense of self.  Contemplation is not about further dividing our bewildered and distracted selves.  Rather, it is a way of making peace with the many disparate elements within us and entrusting the whole of our life — the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful — into the loving encounter with God.
Many of you know that my favorite singer-songwriter is David Wilcox.  I believe that the opening lyrics to one of his songs say well what  Merton would say about God’s reaction to our inclination to hide in our highly fragmented state rather than trusting deeply in the love of God to redeem us beyond the fault-lines.  As you read the lyrics, imagine that it is God speaking to you.

The song is:   Hard Part  from the album  Vista

(David Wilcox and John Whalen)


I see the look that's in your eyes

That says “I must keep most of me inside
'
Cause you'd never love me if I didn't hide

the secrets of my heart.”



Well I'm not here for the surface stuff

I just get bored with all that fluff

So show me the edges even if it's rough

And let the real love start



You think your shame and deep disgrace 

Are more than I can bear

But you can go to your darkest place

I will meet you there



And I'm strong enough to take it

And I know what you've been through

You've got a whole heart

Give me the hard part

I can love that too

Florilegium is the Medieval Latin word for bouquet, or more literally flowers (flos, flor-) which are gathered (legere). The word florilegium was used to refer to a compilation of writings, often religious or philosophical. These florilegium are literary flowers—beautiful words/prayers/thoughts I have gathered.  During my sabbatical they will give me something to ponder each day. — PHL.

Lord, lead us into a place of wholeness.
Help us to discover our truest self even as we seek to find you within. When we are bewildered and distracted — gently lead us back to yourself, where we can be fully ourselves. Amen.

Almighty God, my heavenly Father: I have sinned against you, through my own fault, in thought, and in word, and in deed, in what I have done and in what I have left undone.  For the sake of your Son our Lord Jesus Christ, forgive me all my offenses; and grant that I may serve you in newness of life, to the glory of your name.

Keep watch, dear Lord, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep.  Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love’s sake. Amen.